When the time comes, you will realise how much family presence meant to you. Not, the one that you talk on phone all night, text all day long.. But, your mum,dad and siblings that will be by you.. All way long.
For what i had done, was to make the gap closer. Which i think, the naive mind of yours, was never in place. I know all time round, you've grown up. The both of you, are young adults, but, to think it over again, young adults, with great sense of maturity level don't do pre-marital sex and have to think of the solution when the girl gets pregnant. Instead, wait for the right time and enjoy. And, you real have the cheek to talk to me about nafsu..? Well, at least, mirror yourself.
If you think a man that work at fast food restaurants can earn you a lump sum of money, to support yourself, himself and the baby, including house and whatever essential human needs, then you're wrong.
Marriage is something that you have to think about thoroughly. Not a day of enjoyment on the 'pelamin', a night of 'melepaskan nafsu' but, its worth your whole life.

You gave what you've got. The thing that you have to keep for your husband. No doubt, i know that you know, apart from sin, its the most valuable thing in you, that you can never trade with anything at all. I do miss the stayover, the talk we had before, but after granny went away, everything was already in a mess. Every single thing, girl. If this is life, of a great family, then what happens to the next generation of us? Have you thought that, if you are married, and given all the luxury, happiness and all.. You walk the mall and run over a toddler, not knowing, that toddler, actually has got to do something with you.

For whatever happens, your name, will always appear in my prayers. So that, ALLAH will look after you and your well-being.. As well as your child. I love you.

Think is a big word. Decision is harder.

I cried all night long. Thinking. I can't study. I can't revise. I almost came to a conclusion to quit. But, i know, its never worth it.


Im still not asleep, its already 5.05 am.
I miss my baby, i had problem sleeping.
I am doing my deep thinking.
I love you.
I, really do.